I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
