is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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