he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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