I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
