it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
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All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
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It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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