And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
