HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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