Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
