You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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