I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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