dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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