i jhust puked up my retainher.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
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