i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
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