he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Can you bring me the toilet please
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
The air taste purple.
Randomize
