My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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