It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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