we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
