im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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