I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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