I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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