His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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