I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
