i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Randomize
