how hairy? two words: wookie tits
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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