Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Randomize
