I'm laying in your front yard are you home
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
pray to the hookup gods
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
