i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
