So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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