Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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