how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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