Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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