with your own penis?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You took a bar mat shot.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
