1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
