Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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