do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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