we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
