What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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