DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
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