he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The adults are the big ones right?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
