Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Randomize
