It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
