I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Randomize
