i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
