i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
