you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
