This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
