Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
