Kiss
Puke
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
ok first of all what the fuck
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize