just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize