Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
FUCK WHALES
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
