you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
