I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
