Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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