He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
