My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
