Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
